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So I figured I should try to keep up with this thing, since I have it anyway. Hopefully I won't be as whiny and angsty as I used to be when I'd log onto LJ. Holy Poseidon, I don't even want to look back through those entries, since I know how disgusting they'll be. And still, I'm hard on myself about it. Lol. Anyway. Mom's really been on my ass lately. It seems like everything I do has got her pissed at me. She won't come in and say goodnight anymore because I'm usually on the phone with Matt before I go to bed. I tell her I'll put the phone down or call him back, but she says no, she doesn't want to hug me while I'm on the phone because then "it'll be like hugging him and I don't want to do that". Which is kind of ridiculous. Plus she tells me everything I wear is inappropriate when I wear stockings underneath anything that comes above my knees, and she's getting mad that I want to spend a lot of time with my boyfriend. I guess that's basically pre-programmed, a mother being angry with her daughter for spending a lot of time with a boy, but it's really annoying. And Matt's a really nice kid. I mean, really nice. He's so sensitive and sweet...his mom's kind of a psycho, and has sheltered him for all of his life, which would explain the fact that he's not afraid to have emotions. Back to what I was saying; Mom got especially mad at me today. My sister, Erin, was doing the polar bear jump, and Mom wanted me to go. I didn't really want to go anyway and wasn't planning on it (which made Erin feel a bit sad, but she said it was fine) so I went to Matt's instead. Before I left, Mom made a big thing about it, saying she was "disappointed" and that she "hoped it pays off for you". I understand that I probably should have gone to see Erin jump, since it was special to her (in fact I probably should have just brought Matt) but I wanted to see him since I'd only seen him once over vacation. I see Erin everyday, and I figured (correctly so) that she'd be doing the jump next year, so I could go then. I get that Mom would be disappointed in me, but I don't see why she had to make it such a huge deal. Then again, what do I know. Hot damn, I have a splitting headache. I hope that tylenol I took kicks in soon, because this really hurts. Think I'm going to lie down.
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A lot of stuff has happened since I last posted (has it really been almost a year? I never was very good with keeping diaries). For one, I now have a really great boyfriend - and I mean really great. He's cute, and sweet, and wonderful...ahem. Anyway. I actually love the kid. It's so weird. I've never felt like this. And it's obvious how monumental this is for me, seeing as I never talk about mushy stuff like that. At least, not that I can help it. It always makes me feel girly and weak. I'm half-way through junior year, and it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I probably shouldn't have taken all of those AP classes, since they're practically useless and my new history teacher swamps us in homework all the time. Someone I know says Mrs. M is an alcoholic, but I don't know if I believe that. She does seem a little too scatter-brained for a teacher, though. I've actually been really friendly with Kylee lately, which is weird in itself, but I'm making sure I don't get TOO friendly with her. She doesn't really pay attention to anyone but herself anyone, so I don't have to worry about being sucked in by her "charms". Um. Can't really think of anything else, actually. You'd think I'd have a lot to say, what with this huge absence (41 weeks, I think). I wonder if anyone I know still uses LJ; at least, I wonder if Kaylee does. Probably not, but I'll check anyway.
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I haven't been on here in like....a really long time. More laterr~. Maybe.
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Life's a bit weird now, and I doubt I'll ever have a normal relationship again. That sounded kind of girly. Anyway, some things take sacrifice. Or something. That's what Hollywood sells so I'll just roll with it. Learning how to throw a shotput properly. Can almost get twenty feet, which is bad compared to some. |
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The other day we learned how predators can find people on the Internet. Basically, the guy showed us a step-by-step way to find anyone you want, just by having their first name and e-mail address. I'm going to find you, Kaylee. Bwuahaha. |
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Being a transgender ain`t easy. And neither is driving lessons, yo. |
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You know, it's hard to hate V-Day when everyone else does it to be "cool" and "indifferent". |
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Wow. I haven't been on T-S in like...forever. I was looking at the last fifteen U2Us I got, and about four down was one from Voodoo. About a rant I had in 2006. Never was good at forums. xP And I'm sure you don't read this, Kaylee, but it has been a while since we've chatted - kind of makes me sad. Of all the friends I've grown apart with on the Net, the last one I want to stop talking to is you. I'm sappy, sorry. |
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So. It's now 2008. I turn sixteen in two weeks. And I think I'm supposed to make resolutions...? I don't think I've ever done that. Uh... Oh well. No need to start now. Happy new year, everyone. |
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What I Got For Christmas (since I know you're all dying to know): DAD'S - Joe Boxer Pj's (shorts, shirt and pants) MOM'S - Shampoo, Conditioner, and body wash Hope you guys had a happy holiday. (: |
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no more boyfriend. again. xD i go through them like socks, i guess. well, at least that's it for a while, probably. going to sing christmas songs with a small group for the concert. can't believe it's almost christmas, as i've probably said before. only about three weeks until the big day, and i know it'll all be over way too quickly. at least there's snow, though. i do love snow. |
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man, all my posts have to do with boyfriends. i feel stupid. :P anyway, it seems that one of my good friends has liked me on & off since like, 8th grade. which excites me and saddens me at the thought of him waiting so long before even asking the question. which, my other friend informs me, he has never asked a girl in his life. i felt some strong contact embarassment there. i asked him, why me? i mean, seriously, me? he said he couldn't put it into words. so i told him that we should do it the way his dad described - without a definite question and answer, have it just, well, happen. soyeah. good thing i started liking him lately. but it must've sucked when i was dating his best friend, who he doesn't really like anyway. makes me feel bad. ): going to do some backstage stuff in the school play - first one i'll be in, besides our fifth grade presentation of "writing the constitution". i was ben franklin. it was great. but anyway, morgan and i, who are in drama together, didn't get to audition; so we're just going to do lights and such. should be fine. |
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So much for boyfriends. And holy fuck. Neopets is going on a rampage. I was chain-frozen today, all eight of my accounts, because apparently I was "using multiple accounts to acquire items and Neopoints". When the only thing I use them for is roleplaying. But no, TNT's going on a powertrip. And it's getting really, really bad. I knew there was a rule against boards involving parties, but now they're locking anything that even looks like a party, i.e. Masquerades, celebrations of any kind, etc. It's ridiculous. Four boards I was on were deleted within fifteen minutes. I made a small rant board about how Neo was getting out of hand, and they deleted it then warned me about something I said about borrowing the account I was on. So I was like, okay, I won't mention that again. And I didn't. Yet they deleted my second board and froze the account anyway, saying I continued to talk about password scams or whatever even after I was warned. Uh, no. There's something very wrong here, and as strange as it is to say, I really miss Adam. All of this started when he left, which I didn't even know had happened until this very morning. Now I had to make a new account, which I can't even do anything on until 12 hours is over. Yes, you may say "find a new place to go", but Neo was always sort of fun, even though it could be a bit strict. But now....it's just awful.
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Man, I remember when Kaylee and I used to chat on the IM all the time. And whenever either of us had a new livejournal entry, the other would comment on it. Most of the time, anyway. Those were fun times. But, no use living in the past. |
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I can't believe that it's nearly Halloween already, and that I've seen two Christmas commercials in the last week. It seems that they are (once again) moving the advertising up a few days, instead of starting around the beginning or middle of November, as it was last year. Seriously, people. You have a whole 'nother month. CALM DOWN. This year is moving so fast, it's weird. I've already been dating Kenny for a month, probably a month and a week. And it feels like school just started a few days ago. But that must be what it means to grow up; years pass by so fast, you don't even know what's happening. Before I know it, it'll be Christmas, and then my birthday, etc. I just feel like I'm not getting enough time to enjoy it, like the generations before me didn't have their lives flash by like this. Well, they might've, but not this quickly. It seems like the technological age is making the world fast-paced; in fact, it probably already has. Why can't anyone just sit back and enjoy the ride? Religious folks may think they have an afterlife succeeding this life, but what if they're wrong? What if there's nothing but being a pile of bones and nutrition for the earth? Why speed through life on your Internet bandwagon when it's the only thing you've got? But then again, that's just me talking. You can believe what you want; this is simply an "if".
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sick
artistic
calm
Dx
:/
